Put Down the Perfume Bottle (and Other Tips for Working in Someone's Home)

Working in someone's home is one of the most rewarding careers a person can choose. You get to be a genuine presence in a family's daily life, watch children grow, and build relationships that can last decades. It's also a career with a very specific set of unwritten rules that, if ignored, can quietly derail an otherwise excellent candidate.

After more than 20 years of placing elite nannies, housekeepers, and household staff, we at MoniCare have heard just about every story there is. Some of them are wonderful. Some of them involve perfume. Let's start there.

Tip No. 01

Skip the Scent. Yes, All of It.

This one surprises candidates more than any other piece of advice we give, but it is perhaps the most important: do not wear perfume, cologne, or heavily scented body products to work. Not a "light spritz." Not your favorite lotion. Not heavily fragranced shampoo if you can help it.

Here's why: You are entering a private home, and what smells lovely to you may be overwhelming, nauseating, or even medically problematic to someone else. Infants and young children are especially sensitive to strong scents. A newborn's mother who has spent months avoiding synthetic fragrances is not going to be thrilled when the nursery smells like a store perfume counter. Clients with allergies, migraines, or asthma may not say anything to your face, but they will absolutely say something to their agency.

Beyond health concerns, fragrance is deeply personal. Walking into someone's home carrying a strong scent is, in a subtle way, imposing your preferences on their private space. The goal is to be a seamless, trusted presence in their household, not a daily sensory event.

The simple rule: Clean and neutral is always the right choice. Unscented deodorant, fragrance-free lotion, and fresh clothes will serve you far better than the best bottle on your vanity.

Tip No. 02

Dress Like You Mean Business, Not A Night Out.

A household position is a professional job, and your appearance should reflect that from day one. This does not mean you need to show up in a blazer to supervise a toddler's art project. It does mean your clothing should be clean, well-fitting, practical, and free from anything that could raise an eyebrow.

Avoid anything too casual (ripped jeans, graphic tees with slogans), too revealing, or too formal for physical work. Think neat, comfortable, and functional. You may be chasing a three-year-old up a staircase or folding laundry all afternoon, so dress accordingly. If you are interviewing for a more formal household position, such as a personal assistant or estate manager role, err on the side of polished until you understand the household's culture.

The simple rule: Dress slightly better than you think you need to. No client has ever let someone go for looking too put-together.

Tip No. 03

Your Phone Is Not Your Co-Worker.

We know, everyone has a smartphone. Employers have them too, and they understand that you are a human being with a life outside of work. But nothing undermines trust faster than a candidate who appears more interested in their screen than in the family they were hired to support.

During working hours, keep phone use to a minimum and never in front of the children unless it is directly related to the job (GPS navigation on an errand, a timer for a recipe, and so on). If you need to take a personal call, step away briefly and keep it short. And please, never photograph children in the household and share those images without explicit permission. This is not just a professional courtesy; it is a matter of privacy and trust that families take very seriously.

The simple rule: Keep your phone out of sight unless you are using it for work.

Tip No. 04

Punctuality Is Not a Suggestion.

When you care for someone's children, you are not just filling a shift. You are the reason a parent can get to their office, their meeting, or their medical appointment on time. A nanny who is chronically five or ten minutes late is not a minor inconvenience. She is a recurring source of stress for a family that depends on her completely.

Plan to arrive a few minutes early, especially in the first weeks of a new placement. Familiarize yourself with the commute well before your start date. If an emergency makes you late, communicate immediately, not when you are already at the door. Reliability is one of the most valuable things a domestic professional can offer, and it starts with showing up on time, every time.

The simple rule: First impressions are everything. And arriving on time and prepared is part of that first impression.

Tip No. 05

Discretion Is Everything.

When you work inside someone's home, you see things. Financial documents left on a counter, an argument between spouses, a child's behavioral struggles, details about a family's health or personal life. None of this is yours to share, ever, with anyone.

The families who hire through MoniCare include executives, business owners, attorneys, physicians, and athletes. Many of them have a great deal at stake professionally and personally. Absolute discretion is not a bonus quality in a candidate. It is a baseline requirement. What happens in the household stays in the household. This means in conversation, on social media, and in any other forum you can imagine.

Think of it this way: if you would not want a stranger sharing details from inside your home, extend that same courtesy to the families who trust you with theirs.

The simple rule: No one likes a gossip.

Tip No. 06

Ask Questions Early, Not Often.

Every household runs differently. Some families prefer a strict schedule. Others are more relaxed. Some have firm rules about diet, screen time, and visitors. Others are still figuring it out. Your job in the first few weeks is to listen, observe, and ask clarifying questions early rather than guessing and correcting later.

A great domestic professional takes initiative, but not before understanding the household's expectations. Before making any change to a routine, a meal, a child's schedule, or the organization of a shared space, ask. It takes thirty seconds and saves hours of awkwardness.

Once you have a clear picture of how the family operates, bring your expertise confidently. That is exactly why they hired you.

The simple rule: Communicate early to head off issues later on.

Tip No. 07

Treat the Household as if It Were Your Own. Well, Almost.

Care for the family's belongings with the same respect you would give your own. Do not use household food, appliances, or personal items without permission. Do not rearrange spaces to suit your own preferences. Do not invite friends over, even briefly. Do not eat the same meals as the family unless invited to do so.

These are not arbitrary rules, they are markers of professional respect. You are a trusted employee working inside someone's private space. That privilege comes with a responsibility to honor the boundaries of that space at all times.

That said, a household position is not a military operation. Bring warmth. Bring your personality. Bring your love for the children and your genuine investment in the family's wellbeing. The best placements MoniCare has made over the years are the ones where a candidate became, in the family's own words, a part of the family. That kind of relationship is built on exactly the kind of professionalism and care this list describes.

The simple rule: Respect the home and care for it as if it were your own.

Working in domestic service is a skilled, meaningful, and deeply human profession. The families who hire through MoniCare are not just looking for someone capable. They are looking for someone they can genuinely trust inside their home, every single day. When you combine real experience with thoughtful professional habits, including the small ones like leaving your perfume on the shelf, you set yourself up for a long, successful, and genuinely fulfilling career.

And if you are looking for your next placement with a family that values exactly that kind of professionalism, you know where to find us: www.monicare.com